I hope I could process this correctly.
I’m going to just write out my heart. Man has it been tough. Mostly amazing but tough. It’s more of the things that are emotionally difficult that have been tough.
I hate when I look at my hands and sometimes wonder what it’s like to have normal hands like everyone. I been suffering with eczema on my hands. God, how much I’ve cried out to God to heal me.
To be fair, I did get delivered from the spirit of eczema. I didn’t even know that was a thing but I have been better since. Not too long ago I went gluten and dairy free. I cried that whole day that I decided. The feeling of “lost” gloomed over me. Wishing I could be normal. Soon after that I went vegan as well. Wow did it make a huge different. All of me from spiritually, emotionally and physically felt better. Such a huge improvement. I been really loving it! I’ve made a couple mistakes by accidentally eating gluten a couple times and my skin reacted so fast to it. So as of now, it has been reacting and is itchy as I type.
I dont know why I share this. But since becoming vegan, so many people are always having things to say. From flaunting to judging and even making fun.
It’s really tough to be around people and do things and no one understands what it’s like to have your hands hurting all the time. How difficult things are. How I have to have oil on my hands at all times or my skin begins to burn. And when I have oil on my hands things as simple as putting on/taking off a sweater is dreadful. Something like opening a door is the worse.
I know God is with me and shares with me every struggle. I know he’s healing me. I know this will go away. I know my life will be a testimony.
It’s emotionally draining right now. Crying everytime I think of certain things. It must be very draining for my husband as well. It sucks.
God. God is good. He’s very good.
Even though I feel alone in a room full of people.
I know it’s all worth it when I think about it.
I’ve been through deep depression and it was all worth it because God made it all beautiful. He continues to. As I pour into others and reach out to the lonely and lost. It’s all worth it.
God is kicking eczema’s butt and it will be beat. I will be able to share so much and understand and learn so much out of all of this!
So far, I’ve cleaned with little to no pain and have been able to cook for the past week and a half which is a huge testimony. God has so much more to show and share.
It’s all just a shadow. This too shall pass.
I usually end my blogs a similar way but this one, I just want to apologize to my husband for all the trouble and difficult moments. I just want to say that I have an incredible husband. God couldn’t have given me anyone better.